I wish...

I wish I was less of an introvert and more of an extrovert.
I wish I didn't care so much about others opinions.
I wish I wasnt so emphatetic.
I wish I had closer friends
I wish the friends I do have called more
i wishI had someone to talk to about my problems

Three Christmas's

Hello JD


Havent been here in a lil while. It's Christmas today. :D Had a good day. Yesterday me and Charlie went to my Aunt's house for diner. It's our Christmas tradition. We all go to my aunts house for dinner then we open presents. We use to wait until midnight to open gifts, but over the years it's gotten earlier and earlier in the evening. Charlie met my aunts, uncles and cousins (not ALL of them-SOME- but the ones I see the most during the year) for the first time. He met my aunt Josefina and her husband Sergio and their munchkin Ricky; and my aunt Tina and her husband Pedro and their munchkin Leslie. My brother Chris came with his girlfriend Favi and Yaneth came with her Ex-boyfriend Chris... Nestor and Jorge remain unattached... lol. It was fun. My cousin Ricky got a new dog, lol, his name is Charlie. Charlie hears the word NO alot. . . the Dog too. LOL. He was definitely not friendly to my baby Marley. . . He's not friendly and their other dog Mateo is TOO friendly ;) ;) lol Poor Marley! 

I got clothes, makeup, a mirror, a watch and some perfume from my family. I got Charlie the Star Wars DVD set in Blue Ray. When we left, Charlie made me open his presents to me (I'll talk about them later). I got the kids board games. I got Favi and Chris a gift set- bottle of Hypnotiq with ice bucket and glasses. I got Jorge the first season of 30 Rock. I got Nestor a gift card to Subway (He has an endless pit for a stomach) and I bought my aunts cooking stuff and my mom cookware. Oh I almost forgot, my mom got Charlie a towel. lol. (as long as I can remember we always would get things we NEEDED on Christmas and not so much what we wanted.) Jorge has been the only kid that's gotten everything he WANTED for Christmas.

Today we went to CHarlie's mom's for dinner and presents too. We we're all completely surprised that Casey's mom let him go with his dad today. Charlie still hadnt heard anything from her so he just dropped by at her mom's to pick him up. He said it was less painful then he thought it would be. I was very glad. They havent seen each other in a loooong time. :(  I got him a Nerf gun and a Star Wars Encyclopedia and his grandma got him a bunch of stuff he enjoyed too. Me and Charlie got his mom a bread maker. Charlies mom spoiled me rotten :) It was lots of fun. . . 

Our day wasnt over though. Ericka called and invited all of us to Sandra's for dinner. We played UNO and had a lovely dinner. I wish we could of stayed longer but Charlie had his gift exchange with his room mates today at 9. . . I, as you know, was not invited. Ericka gave me a very pretty necklace that reads "Best Friends, Now and Forever" <3 The card I got Ericka made her tear up, and then she made me tear up so I had to stop looking at her. LOL. We cant watch a sad movie together without us crying or making the other get sympathy tears. LOL. We also got her a piggy bank shaped like a shoe that said, "Savings for SHoes" and we plan to take her to Anime Con this coming up year, none of us have ever been, should be fun!
Anywhooo... MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! 

Facebook

Facebook, a place to mingle, to renew old friendships and start new ones, to keep in touch but not really. Facebook, the land of drama. Facebook, the time machine that allow us to travel back in time to our highschool days. For people to relive goodtimes, make new ones and talk about ourselves and others. Facebook a place to form new clicks and shun anew. Facebook the online water cooler, where everyone loves to gossip about everthing and anything! Facebook, it's like web cocaine. You cant help but get addicted.

Ex Friends

Ex-Friends
If you're wondering why she remains unnamed, well, I'm not all that sure. It's difficult for me to talk about her in person, and me writing about her on paper is easier somehow but I don't like to see her name. I deleted her off of my Facebook (and blocked her) after she finally returned my messages and I found out what she really thought about me. She told me to stay out of her life so I did... and I let someone else in it. <3 I don't know why but a religious phrase comes to mind. "God doesnt close a door without opening a window.

Why not when I heard mutual friends talking shit about me, you ask? Well, because like I said, I wanted to find out the facts from the source not secondary sources. It amazes me how high school-ish people are at my age. Starting rumors, hearing rumors, calling each other all kinds of names. If you hear something and actually want to know the entire truth just ask? They might lie you say? Well of course, that is a possibility but that makes you the adult and them someone who needs to grow up! If you actually consider the person a friend then I would think you would want to know the truth. . . and if they lie to your face, well that just proves they were never your friend to begin with.

Little reminders...

I heart Charlie.
1. He makes me laugh.
2. He listens to me.
3. He thinks about our future.
4. He's handsome ;)
5. He love's me.
6. He tells me things I never knew before.
7. He puts up with my past baggage.
8. He stands up for me.
9. He holds my hand.
10. He tells me/shows me he loves me everyday.
... just to name a few... <3
I started this list a lil while ago but couldnt finish it... Now that I'm on a small break from school I can...
Charlie showed me something today... I swear, he's even more impatient then me! Lol. It made me smile... and think about the future. OUR future.
It's a good day. :)

I Love Him...

I heart Charlie.
1. He makes me laugh.
2. He listens to me.
3. He thinks about our future.
4. He's handsome ;)
5. He love's me.
6. He tells me things I never knew before.
7. He puts up with my past baggage.
8. He stands up for me.
9. He holds my hand.
10. He tells me/shows me he loves me everyday.
... just to name a few... <3

Angry...

I know anger is a secondary emotion and not one I like sharing about all that much... but here I am. THinking. . .Thinking about why I've been so angry....cranky, irritable and perhaps a little mean lately. Sadly since Charlie's the only one I'm around mainly he's been taking some of that anger. Lately things he says or does just set me off in a bad mood. . . most of the time it's stupid little things I shouldn't really be upset by but there it is... Perhaps some of it is aimed at him for certain things right now- and we briefly talked about it during our last trip to Lucky Baldwins, which for some odd reason we ended up sleeping in his car the entire night, brrrr!- but I'm sure it's not all on those issues.

I need to wake up early (only two weeks left til this semester is over!) :( so I'll summarize once more and hopefully elaborate on these issues later:

1. I want to leave this house.

2. I miss my friends.

3. I want me and Charlie to have mutual friends but the way Charlie's acting it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen. - hopefully Ericka doesn't mind being the only friend that hangs out with us. lol. Sad day.

4. Charlie told me again what Maria said about me and then added what she and his ex girlfriend would do together to "bond" (drink, hang out and of course bad mouth another mutual friend- who I happen to know)- which just renews my dislike of the female species and my intense anxiety on trying to make new female friends-

5. Stressed about finals and school in general, looks like I might not be able to take any winter classes Tomorrow is finally my turn to register for the next semester but All the classes are pretty much full.

6. The future. mine. charlies. mine and charlies.

7. Something a lil more personal so I think I'll share that in my old fashioned hand written journal Charlie bought me. ( he commented on how I haven't written in it lately) I still have yet to tell anyone about this online journal. . .( all though I have a sneaking suspicion nosey-mc-nosington does know about it) hmmmm....
I gotta go ... The natives are  here.... and getting restless....
Sweet Dreams...

The one about Liz staying up all night...

These last couple of days have been hectic and time consuming. I've been working on my final projects for all my classes... It's too late to get in a decent a rest or even nap so here I am fighting to stay awake until class starts. Its almost 6am and class starts at 8 am. Hopefully I'll get in some sleep after class, I go into work at 6 pm. Wah! Wah! I think I'll jump in the shower, have some breakfast (something I rarely do), and get my science project stuff ready for class.... but first, since I have some time to spare :) I will summarize the current shinanigans and thoughts.
 Numero uno: I told Charlie I want to move out! Now!
Numero Dos: Maria (Charlie's land lady, and I guess Ex Friend now) gave him until Feb. 1st to move out. - Rather nice of her to wait til AFTER the holidays. Oh and she rescinded her invitation to me AGAIN, so once again I am not even allowed on her property.- and unless I ask her directly (and even then I'm doubtful I'll get an honest answer) I will never know exactly why she does not like me. I met her at JB's birthday party alooong time ago, I went with both Chris's and Autumn. (Charlie wasn't there, I don't think he lived with them yet. I had no idea she even knew Charlie- This is definitely a small world!)
Numero Tres: Im debating between taking winter session classes or just working... until Spring semester that is.
Numero Quatro: Charlie's baby mama drama continues. Poor Charlie, he hasn't seen his kid in awhile. . . and to top it all off after ignoring all his messages about seeing his son she recently messages him, just to yell at him and call him names... You tell me what you call a person who keeps their children from another parent???... anywhooo...
Numero Cinco: Been thinking about what Ericka said, which reminds me I almost cried in front of her while I was "sharing". Her and Charlie actually. This whole talking about stuff that makes me mad or sad always brings tears to my eyes, I had to change the subject otherwise I would of lost it..

hmmm.... anywhoo... I must go, TTYL!

Need to focus...

This week is gonna be agony. I have a 40 hour work week! I havent had one of  those since last Christmas! PLUS I have school. THe end is nearing!!! I gotta get better at this time management thing... Ugh! The end of this year is going by too fast... and my birthday is fast approaching. I feel soo OLD!~
Anyways, Im gonna cut this short because I must get some sleep! I have a quiz tomorrow that I still need to study for!

Things I've been thinking about:
My relationship with CHarlie and whats in store for our future.
What I need to do to finish my GE classes and get my AA in child Development.
Getting a new job!
Certain people in my life.
People in general.
.... and a million other things!

Goodnight!

Alot on my mind...

 The past few days have been taxing. Not much sleep too much sleep... its 3:22 am right now. As you can tell from my last blog a lot of sssh-tuff happened. Which caused a multitude of chain reactions in my thoughts. Does that make sense? I'll elaborate.
Have you ever had a thought that just continued to elicit even more thoughts??? We'll I had quite a few thoughts put in my head which caused my brain to have thought diarrhea. I multitude of bad and good thoughts... mostly bad. I needed a few days to sort them out, or at least try to. I came out with only one conclusion but there is still much to do.

I'm Ok now. Not great. But ok enough to continue this chapter in my life. I am cutting this short because I need sleep. I missed yesterdays class and last Thursdays class. I really cant afford to loose another day. I hope with the extra credit and perhaps my resolve to spend more time at school and focus on homework I can get high B's... because as of now even low A's seem outta the picture. SIGH*


Sweet Dreams...

SAD. . .

Feeling rather drained. Feeling rather talked out. Feeling like taking a break from words to just FEEL and REFLECT because I'm Feeling....

 Wish I could just fall asleep... When I'm asleep I don't feel ANYTHING.

The one about School stuff and an old friend...

Hola! I've Been at school for most of the day and I find myself with no time to blog but I'm determined to do it anyway!

Soooo, I recently made up my CPR practice exam, YAY!!! Know I CAN get certified! As you know my teacher said there were no make-ups allowed but for some reason she decided to let me and another student do it. I wish I had decided to look somewhat decent that day though, because another student from the class decided to take pictures of me and my classmate taking our practice exam on Annie (the CPR dolly) for the school paper. I think I looked gruesome and Im hoping the pictures are in black and white because I just basically rolled out of bed and got to class. Today we practiced splinting and paid for our CPR certification. Around this time next month I will be CPR and First Aid certified! (If I pass the final exam) Which means I'll have an extra advantage to add to my resume. . . but i stiiiill need to get my shot to work with kids. Ouch!!! Charlie's Mom offered to pay for it. She's so sweet. :)

I also recently received my school money! YAY!! . . and all ready its dwindling fast. Noooo!! I still need to pay for that darn car ticket and go get a new drivers license from the DMV. From what I hear we're suppose to get another disburstment from the school soon though. :D

I am also rather excited about tonight. An old friend contacted me on Facebook and said she wanted to get together with me and Charlie and have a couple of beers. She lives in Virginia now and is here visiting her Mom for the week. I was rather surprised. I hardly ever hear from anyone except Ericka to hang out with. Lol. I decided to invite Autumn, Farmer, Ericka, and Yan along too.  And I told Charlie to let his roomies know about it as well, since theyre friends of hers too. They all worked at Mervyns together. (If Stephens was still talking to me I would of invited him too!) I know Charlie's friends have "squeezed" him outta of their group and the not so nice part of me doesnt really mind if they come or not but I'm thinking about my friend.

Thinking about it I'm excited and rather nervous. I've explained some of my social fears. A part of me wishes now that I would have left it with Ericka, Charlie, me and her but oooh well. This should give me some "social practice". We started reading in class about how we "learn" how to hold conversations and keep on topic and attend to our friends end of the conversation while we are young. As future teachers we help them "learn" how to socialize. I can tell you right know I flunked socializing 101. LOL.

Anyways That all the time I have for now!

The Friendship Blog

Found this blog online that I'm finding very interesting. http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/

Some of the problems these other people are having remind me of mine and some of the advice on here seems very useful. The creator does have a PhD. Lol.

I would elaborate but Im pressed for time. I got soo much to do. Im bummed I havent had much time to blog.

Wah! wah! Ttyl!
Hope you like her blog. I've joined the forum! Anonymously though. lol.

Halloween Weekend!

So what was I this Halloween? Me and Charlie were Zombies! Prom date Zombies to be exact. Lol. It's both a first for both of us, the matching couple costumes, not just the being undead thing. It's funny how I always have the most fun getting dressed up then the actual event. I bought this beautiful fluffy white dress at Goodwill, and we destroyed it with fake blood and dirt. Ericka bought Charlie his tweed prom suit, at least I think it was tweed... aka Old Man suit. <3 Her.

All dressed up and nowhere to go!
Upto the last minute we had no idea where or what we were doing. We were considerably low on funds. Sad day. So our choices were limited to anything FREE! We actually ended up staying at his roomies housemates party for most of the night. We did venture off for an hour or so to Pasadena and tried going to a party I was invited to on Facebook. This was one creepy looking house, three stories, Victorian looking, awesomeness! For the most part everyone was dressed to the T! We only wish we would of gone earlier because when we got there it was packed! The ONE bar they had, had an endless line!

I would of stayed longer and mingled but according to Charlie it's different when your a couple. Do couples not mingle? I've never couple mingled but I'd like to give it a try. lol...  Yan, Krys and her friend ended up going to the 35er even though they started off at Charlie's with us and were going to go with us to the house party. On a side note they drove over a curb while making a U-turn, that was pretty funny. Ericka stayed with us and found her white rabbit. Lol. She was dressed as Alice and on our way to the house party we came across a white rabbit near the sidewalk. Cool! and funny!

Anywhoo! We went back to the party and drank and ate until it was down to a few people talking around the camp fire. I like small groups. It's big social gatherings that scare me... all though alcohol helped. lol Charlie mentioned Ericka mingling, and said he was glad she was having a good time. I told him she has always been a social butterfly... it's usually others being the stuck up's who wont socialize back. It reminded me of the time Ericka met Tylers friends... ugh. I wasn't surprised though they hardly spoke to me, and I was his girlfriend!

Uh oh... outta time! Ttyl!

Thoughts Ive had- The one about me being TOO Forgiving.

Unfinished thoughts...

Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 10:05am

"Im slow to anger and eager to forgive."

Ive been thinking... I know crazy huh... about the people who have done things that aren't necessarily good... and Ive managed to forgive and forget... not that something doesn't change because of it...
but thinking about it and talking to a friend about it i had to ask : " am i too forgiving?'...
I didn't think i was, at least with issues and morals I'm adamant about... but thinking about it... i think with people i hardly know i think im not... i can think of a time 2 people i know basically did the same thing and in one case I made excuses for them and was willing to forgive and forget and in the other i was livid, unwilling to hear or try to understand why... the difference you ask... well one was a friend i've known for a long time the other an acquantance i was begining to get to know... perhaps i never really knew them... im beginning to think its like that with alot of people...

i think everyone's like that... I think perhaps  i might be a little too forgiving with the people I've come to know and Im all to willing to make excuses for them instead of thinking perhaps they're not who i thought they were... they're not the people i want them to be...or perhaps i don't want to see it, confront it... when i hear excuses im all too willing to believe them with out question... Are we all eager to understand and forgive our friends for the things that they do or say ... or is that just me???  Or perhaps they never we're our friends to begin with...

hmmm... Perhaps to some, or most I am too forgiving but to me I had always thought why sweat something that small?... that meaningless... its stupid... it doesnt matter... i am willing to move past it... and i think, as i mentioned before  its because of the good/bad ratio... is it worth a fight??? is it worth the possible hurt feelings? is it worth the anxiety?? is it worth loosing someone I care/appreciate/love/etc.etc???.... at least, Thats how it felt like and knowing what i know know and still learning a few new things on the subject, i find myself feeling rather silly and dumb founded by my inability to see it ... its like staring at a puzzle or a question, taking hours, days or perhaps years to finish or answer and when you finally do , you cant beleive how you could have missed it!!!... the answer was that simple , that clear... and you feel ridiculous for taking sooo damn long on finishing the puzzle or finding the answer to that question...  ... but something I learned in one of my classes, and im paraphrasing... -one cant move beyond conflict if its never resolved-... soo the little things DO matter... its what leads to the big things...

...so dont fear conflict, dont fear talking about the little things and if it does lead to a fight or hurt feelings or whatever! well at least you can say youve dealt with it , and have the opportunity to move on... and if something so small in your eyes could never break the love, trust, respect, etc etc you have for that individual then you must beleive that they feel the same way... and wouldnt want to loose you either and value the friendship just as much...  and if they dont... all though heartbreaking as it might feel at the time... you will eventually feel better... because well the word and meaning of friendship means what it means for a reason...  hmmm trust that they feel the same ...hmmm... easier said then done... and seeing as the small stuff brings anxiety and fear of course the BIG stuff that happened took a toll on me, emotionally and physically...  and Ive gained some insight on why.... buuuut thats a whole other story....
ok enough typing... aparently ive been typing for the past three hours... :P

Sponge Bob!

GOODNIGHT!

Facebook Correspondence... The one about saying Goodbye.

• • Ive been thinking about what you and what you said to me last....
    You said you wanted to talk among other things on that last text you sent me... theres a few things i wanna ask... say... etc..i dont wanna make assumptions.. and if there is still somethings you wanna ask me too then give me a call. preferably tomorrow after 12 before 5... or perhaps this weekend , i work but im off by 6 pm.... ive been busy with school and work and life in general soo my schedule is crazy... if you dont wanna talk anymore then ok... we'll leave things as is...
    Take care. Liz
• 

  March 3

  Jerry

  • Liz I would love to talk to you. It really made me sad when you didn't want to talk to me anymore. I felt like a lot has changed and we are meant to be talking. Your a good person. I miss you. Ill try and call you tomorrow between 12 and 5. Life is def crazy right now.
    The only thing that bothers me if we talk is that I promised your sister that I would not try to contact you. Is there anyway, to be fair, that we can get permission from your sister. I might be an Asshole but I have changed whether anyone believes it. Let me know. Ill try to call you tomorrow. Bed time now. Just barely finished doing work for the day. Ugghhh.
    
     So we met soon after at Denny's. We talked for a few hours... small talk and serious. I remember not telling anyone I was going to go see him... talk to him. I knew what people would say " Are you NUTS! After what he did?!" ... and I was right. Charlie was angry and I'm pretty sure Yan thought I was crazy when I told her about it... but I felt Great. I felt good because I told him what he did... to hurt me, to loose my friendship... I told him WHY I was mad. I had never told anyone my negative feelings towards them. I had never told anyone "IM ANGRY AT YOU BECAUSE ____________" "You hurt me because_________" ....It felt cathartic.
    ... afterwards I no longer thought I was making assumptions... I KNEW for certain that everything he said not only sounded like lies but WERE lies- how? Well thats the main reason I wanted to speak face to face- he said it himself- it was written on his face... and all though I said I'd try to rebuild our friendship, after that talk, I knew that was impossible. Perhaps If he had admitted the TRUTH to me, perhaps then I would of been able to TRY ... everything he said was an excuse... pretty words... they meant nothing anymore.
• 
  
• 

  May 31

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • I would of responded earlier but Ive been busy...
    Sorry Jerry. I thought about it and I cant be your friend... for quite a few reasons. I actually wrote them down but i feel its pointless to tell you. I dont think you care. i Cant help what i think now... things happen. People change. My opinion of you has changed and I hear trust can be regained but Im just too dam busy with a number of things to give it a go at being friends with you again.... Simple fact: I trusted you, now I dont. im too busy trying to fix myself to worry about you. And i have worried about you. and not only you everyone involved. .... but now im ready to worry about me. Im content with the fact that I did everything in MY power to be a good friend to all three of you and Ive come to the terms that I cant control other peoples actions, reactions, or beliefs.
    I wish you the happiness Ive come to find because of this bittersweet chapter in my life. Im learning alot about myself and working on my issues.
    Take care.
• 

  May 31

  Jerry W

  • Good for you. I might have somehow made a facial expression when lying. Sorry to break your trust with that. I care about you.. take care. Good luck to you. Thugs are going great for me. Haven't had a drink in over a month now. Before that barely any. Got a job. Have a car. Hope just as much good is coming your way
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • Why is it that every word you say sounds wrong... unbelievable, and makes me have a renewed feeling of anger towards you after hearing them?... You're sorry that you broke my trust with that lying expression??! ... i guess i should be somewhat happy for you that you're finally admitting you lied and are taking responsibility for your facial expressions... You care about me??? Then why would you ever even IMPLY such a thing?! I guess i dont blame her for not believing me, i blame you. i blame you that i lost a friend. I learn from my mistakes. I wasnt about to jeopardize my friendship with Amanda. And i know i will never truly know what THE truth is. I told you before its interesting how 2 people can have different sides to a story, you and amanda's story differed slightly over who's idea it was to go out. Truth is you both wanted to, just like you and me, doesnt matter that you pursued me rather relentlessly (i think) and that i was on the rebound from a 4 year relationship and that some asshole neighbor of mine violated me not too long ago, all that doesn't matter. We're all adults here, we made a choice. Found out, it wasn't a good one... one try for me two for you.... maybe more, i don't know... doesn't matter... i thought you cared about me... even a little but know im not sure you EVER did... i can say i truly did when we were "together"... i gave you a second chance because you only burned me once... it didn't work out but we had good times, i thought... I'd be rather stupid if i gave you a third chance now... there's no such thing as third chances... People you care about, you usually would trust and want whats best for them... wouldn't imply things about them... I never lied or implied... you even thought i lied back then, now im thinking it's probably because you lied...and in this situation you thought i lied again...you said i kept something from you...which is true, the fact that he showed interest in me as more then just a friend... but i never lied...you didnt NEED to know that... now Im really glad i didnt tell you, who knows what you would have done with that peice of info... so dont tell me you care about me ...or amanda or charlie for that matter... who implies to a friend that they think that their other friend slept with the father of their child? who (and you told me this too) tells a friend that you 'think' that same father wants to get back together with them, without even knowing that for a fact and now that i think of it i cant help but think that hearing that was probably for my "benefit", and who brings a friend right smack in the middle of drama between their ex and a mutual friend? ... anyways this is stupid this is all in the past... i guess maybe i should of sent that list... there's still a few reasons why its impossible for you and me to be friends... you blamed amanda for me not talking to you... that was silly...you only had you to blame for me not talking to you... and you only have you to blame for me not being your friend now... sigh* ok , sorry about that... moving on.
    Glad things are going well for you... I really do hope more good things come to you and i said this before (not to you) and i can say it again now, to you, and i can probably say it because i got some more things off my chest, again sorry about that, theres no point in telling a person what you think they did wrong... they either know or dont...i admitted to what i thought i did wrong.. but i guess as people , we just want others to admit what we cant help but believe...sigh* anyways, im not angry at you anymore, i feel bad for you...i hope someday you'll find a girl that you will trust.... completely. Looks like you have trust issues too. . . And here's 2 more cents... dont forget everyone has a past , something they arent proud of, so do you, and the person you fall in love with and completely trust , wont care about that past...hopefully you wont care about hers either...
    Take Care and Goodluck.
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • typo* story differed about who's idea it was to ask "permission" i meant. lol.... that sounds sooo silly now... like i said we're all adults... we do what we want, its called choices... you would of gone through with what you wanted even if i had objected... you both were friends and had preconceived ideas about the other... im sure we all appreciate learning things on our own and not just taking another persons word for it...

Thoughts I've had: The one about Letting Go...No more second chances.

I wrote this after I talked to Jerry. He caused me so much heartache... I'm not sorry I gave him another chance at being my friend... I'm just sorry he used my friendship to get into my ex-friends pants... It was deja vu, I just didn't realize it... I wasn't asking the right question... once that hit me.... i knew.

"...i have tried, i took a step, but realized it was impossible to continue any more and though i felt bad for saying it, i let them know and moved on ...im a sound believer of second chances and for me Ive been known to give more... more then some people I know would... even though im 100 percent sure there's no such thing as 3rd 4th or 5th chances, I'd like to think that some people just need a few extra chances... especially on the little things... the things one can move past... for those who believe in" three strikes youre out" "One time was enough" and all the other sayings, well thats your perrogative, and of course for me I definitely think that way on certain moral aspects and personall beliefs... after all we are and think what we think because of those beliefs and experiences...

...but like i said i beleive some people just need a little more help because I think that some things are just that hard for people to do... change is hard for anyone I'd imagine.... so for a person who ONLY knows a certain way, how to be a crertain way, how to treat a certain way... i would imagine they need a little help... especially if you say you care and feel some sort of love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -for that person... and because of that you WANT to give them a few more tries ... buuuut and this is a big but... how  many tiimes can THEY make the same mistake before WE say enough is enough, im tired, im done, your on your own, i dont beleive you anymore...????...

And for me ... Ive always grasped on to the good... the great... the funny... Ive grasped on to those memories ... but again after awhile you realize theyre not changing, and even though they say they want to or they are or they have changed... well actions speak louder then words ... and at one point the good memories can no longer overcome the bad... and you realize THIS is the best for you and even perhaps them... because maybe... just Maaaybe they will finally realize what they are doing wrong because you arent looking back anymore ...

...and wont ever again and they lost the love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -you once had for them... there's nothing left ...nothing left for them... not even hate... soo I thanked them for the new insight, the new lessons learned and asked them rather politely- cuz thats me- to please PLEASE leave me alone... lose my number, lose my email, lose whatever links you have to contact me, because I was DONE... and I appreciated all the kind words... but to me in the end... thats all they became... JUST words..."

Thoughts I've had- The one about PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS

 When it comes to other peoples stories... Is it bad that I want to understand ??? ... Maybe it is... Im giving myself a headache thinking about the  intricacies of ideas, thoughts, and reasons why people make the choices that they do, say the things they do, act the way they do... can you try to empathize with someone you might not otherwise empathize with? Is it easier to empathize with the down and out of luck man/woman then the well dressed business man/woman? what about a prostitute you see walking down the streets of LA compared to the high end call girl in Beverly Hills? Does it depend on the story.... but then again are you even willing to hear their story.... perhaps your only inclined to listen to one. WHat if I told you the LA gal is only on the street to get her next fix and the gal in Beverly Hills is paying for school... is one more deserving of help then the other? Why?
I guess it's just a fact of life ...or a fact of people ...that we have preconceived notions of certain people. We cant help it, if we are labeled as such. . . Or can we? ..Help it , I mean. Maybe it takes a little effort... a lot of effort for most.
I definitely think faster then I type I wish i had one of those microphones that type for you...

by Lizbeth Sanchez on Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 7:32pm

"15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for your country in the war. Repost this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. "- stole this from a FB friend.

THoughts I've Had - The one about CONFLICT!

FOR EVERY TRAGEDY, EVERY MISUNDERSTANDING, EVERY ARGUMENT, EVERY LOSS...
 THERE IS:
A LITTLE BIT OF UNITY GAINED.

A LITTLE BIT OF KNOWLEDGE LEARNED. 

A LITTLE BIT OF TOLERANCE ACQUIRED.

A LITTLE BIT OF  APPRECIATION ACHEIVED. 

A PIECE OF YOU DISCOVERED

PERHAPS A PIECE YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD INSIDE OF YOU...
OR RENEWED...
TO MAKE YOU ALL THAT STRONGER,WISER,EMPATHETIC,THANKFUL,  ...
HAPPY

So much to write! So little time!!!

I've been very busy and I was about to begin writing but now I have to go... wah wah!

So I guess this will be a list of what I want/need to write about:

My double date with Autumn.
My fight with Charlie.
The possibilities of Charlie and me becoming long distance.
Charlie, Ericka's and my chat last time we hung out.
Charlie's "birthday present" to his Mom.
My last entry- my comments.

TTYL :D

pleasantries...

"Im thinking about when people ask "How you been?", "How are you?" "How you doing" and any other form - How many of them/you actually WANT to know and genuinely care???... Or is that just me.'
 I Know that we hear it on a regular basis when we go shopping... and when they ask its a part of the customer service "experience" but if you're gonna pretend to give a shit at least pretend to listen too!

 Do you know how many times I hear "how you been?" and then it stops right there. Ive heard people say "not so great" "horrible day!" and then I hear from the person who asked say "...mmm thats great" "..mmm..good" etc. :-O Do they not know that they actually have to listen to your response!? I guess most of the time its "Im fine" "doing good" etc and they automatically hear those responses even when one customer decides to be truthfull and comment that the day isnt all that great.

 Most of the time when people ask me at the check out lane I just say "fine" "great" etc and its because I know that you dont care, you wanna go home, i understand, I just wanna get outta this line... but on a very rare occasion i hear that sincerity in a persons voice that actually makes me want to speak to and have a short conversation with them , a few laughs are exchanged and a genuine "have a good day" and "thanks, you too!" are exchanged at the end. I guess I miss that. Working in customer service in the past , the only thing that kept me sane and going , when dealing with the rude, annoying, egotistical customer and with the rude, annoying and egotistical salesperson , was the GENUINE exchange of pleasantries between them and me.
I dont know about you guys but I'd rather you keep your fake pleasantries to yourself. ... that or get acting lesson or practice on your fake pleasantries.
PS Thanks to those who actually give a shit. :) I do too!
:P