Settling in...

i  havent had much time to write. school has started and weve been settling into our apartment. ive met one of my neighbors. shes incredibly nice and has a dog named copper. poor puppy got hit by a car too. he has a puppy wheel chair to help him get around now. marley has gottten a lil use to him, theyve met a few times now. our neighbors who live directly above us are loud. but other then that Im enjoying the place :D Its nice to go home and not worry.

Some of my favorite quotes...

Nothing angers mean spirited people more then being Happy... Sooo forget about their anger and cruelty, it's not your problem (you got your own problems, lol)... be Happy ... <3 -Me

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.
-Loretta Young

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
-Tom Robbins

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
-A. A. Milne  

"By the time we make ends meat, someone moves the ends"...
...the one you love will think the sun shines out your ass... (Juno)

... We've gone too far... (Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle)

I can't tolerate intolerance!
I'm not open to close minded people (stolen from Christian Locatell)

 You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget.  ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
-Plato 

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.  ~Author Unknown

 You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well.  ~Author Unknown

Come live in my heart and pay no rent.  ~Samuel Lover
Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.  ~Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.  ~Michel de Montaigne

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.  ~Javan

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.  ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.-
Buddha

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
-Joseph Roux

Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.
-James Fallows

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
-Buddha

Three Christmas's

Hello JD


Havent been here in a lil while. It's Christmas today. :D Had a good day. Yesterday me and Charlie went to my Aunt's house for diner. It's our Christmas tradition. We all go to my aunts house for dinner then we open presents. We use to wait until midnight to open gifts, but over the years it's gotten earlier and earlier in the evening. Charlie met my aunts, uncles and cousins (not ALL of them-SOME- but the ones I see the most during the year) for the first time. He met my aunt Josefina and her husband Sergio and their munchkin Ricky; and my aunt Tina and her husband Pedro and their munchkin Leslie. My brother Chris came with his girlfriend Favi and Yaneth came with her Ex-boyfriend Chris... Nestor and Jorge remain unattached... lol. It was fun. My cousin Ricky got a new dog, lol, his name is Charlie. Charlie hears the word NO alot. . . the Dog too. LOL. He was definitely not friendly to my baby Marley. . . He's not friendly and their other dog Mateo is TOO friendly ;) ;) lol Poor Marley! 

I got clothes, makeup, a mirror, a watch and some perfume from my family. I got Charlie the Star Wars DVD set in Blue Ray. When we left, Charlie made me open his presents to me (I'll talk about them later). I got the kids board games. I got Favi and Chris a gift set- bottle of Hypnotiq with ice bucket and glasses. I got Jorge the first season of 30 Rock. I got Nestor a gift card to Subway (He has an endless pit for a stomach) and I bought my aunts cooking stuff and my mom cookware. Oh I almost forgot, my mom got Charlie a towel. lol. (as long as I can remember we always would get things we NEEDED on Christmas and not so much what we wanted.) Jorge has been the only kid that's gotten everything he WANTED for Christmas.

Today we went to CHarlie's mom's for dinner and presents too. We we're all completely surprised that Casey's mom let him go with his dad today. Charlie still hadnt heard anything from her so he just dropped by at her mom's to pick him up. He said it was less painful then he thought it would be. I was very glad. They havent seen each other in a loooong time. :(  I got him a Nerf gun and a Star Wars Encyclopedia and his grandma got him a bunch of stuff he enjoyed too. Me and Charlie got his mom a bread maker. Charlies mom spoiled me rotten :) It was lots of fun. . . 

Our day wasnt over though. Ericka called and invited all of us to Sandra's for dinner. We played UNO and had a lovely dinner. I wish we could of stayed longer but Charlie had his gift exchange with his room mates today at 9. . . I, as you know, was not invited. Ericka gave me a very pretty necklace that reads "Best Friends, Now and Forever" <3 The card I got Ericka made her tear up, and then she made me tear up so I had to stop looking at her. LOL. We cant watch a sad movie together without us crying or making the other get sympathy tears. LOL. We also got her a piggy bank shaped like a shoe that said, "Savings for SHoes" and we plan to take her to Anime Con this coming up year, none of us have ever been, should be fun!
Anywhooo... MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! 

Little reminders...

I heart Charlie.
1. He makes me laugh.
2. He listens to me.
3. He thinks about our future.
4. He's handsome ;)
5. He love's me.
6. He tells me things I never knew before.
7. He puts up with my past baggage.
8. He stands up for me.
9. He holds my hand.
10. He tells me/shows me he loves me everyday.
... just to name a few... <3
I started this list a lil while ago but couldnt finish it... Now that I'm on a small break from school I can...
Charlie showed me something today... I swear, he's even more impatient then me! Lol. It made me smile... and think about the future. OUR future.
It's a good day. :)

I Love Him...

I heart Charlie.
1. He makes me laugh.
2. He listens to me.
3. He thinks about our future.
4. He's handsome ;)
5. He love's me.
6. He tells me things I never knew before.
7. He puts up with my past baggage.
8. He stands up for me.
9. He holds my hand.
10. He tells me/shows me he loves me everyday.
... just to name a few... <3

50/50

Just got back from watching 50/50 with Ericka and Charlie. It was such a good movie! I laughed, I cried... lol. I give it 5 stars aaand two thumbs up!

 It's about a guy who finds out he has cancer, I know, Sad. . . But its funny and heart warming, as well as thought provoking. I liked it a lot. Me and Charlie had a brief discussion before we said our good-nights about it. . . You see Charlie has seen his share of hospitals and then some!...
I'm not quite ready for the longer version of that conversation we had... yet. Especially right now. I've had three panic attacks in the past few days and I just want them to stop. I feel if we have that talk right now, I might have another one. Anywhoo...

I'm happy to report I am currently not as anxious as I was this morning. I've calmed down considerably. I spent a nice lunch with Ericka and her dental class friends. They were funny and cute. All girls- had to tell Charlie that- lol. It was nice being around a group of girls again. Especially really nice ones. I haven't had that many nice experiences with (and excuse me if I offend) white girls... actually girls in general, lol. They were rather inclusive and easy going. I was surprised I didn't feel all that uncomfortable.

I've mentioned before I tend to feel rather nervous, shy and at times anxious when meeting new people. They however didn't give off any bad or unfriendly vibes, they were rather chatty and funny so that helped ease any anxious feelings I might of started getting... I even contributed to the conversation! Lol.
Went to work- a little late- and got off at ten and went to see a movie.
All in all it was a nice day. :)

Content

Woke up feeling rather content... tired but content. I lay awake in bed for a few minutes thinking about the outlook I have in life Today and whats changed over the past few years... Ive never felt this feeling of everything will be ok... and if it isn't it will still be ok...  I think it's because I no longer feel alone...

...at least not in the same sense and way I use to. In a crowded room, one can still feel utterly and completely alone... that's how I use to feel, even though you couldn't tell by looking at me.... I know alot of people still feel that way and It's hard... for some its easy and cant see why its so hard for others... but its not the same... your not inside their heads ... you don't know... if you did you would see why... anyways...
...this morning I had the thought that there's sooo much bad out there in the world and in peoples lives, but why focus on that? I thought I may have quite a few things to feel angry, sad or disappointing about but I also have those things in my life that make it worth getting up in the morning...

...and one of those special people happen to be on their way to pick me up and whisk me away to a small adventure...lol ... so I better

 Peace Out!!!