Facebook Correspondence... The one about saying Goodbye.

• • Ive been thinking about what you and what you said to me last....
    You said you wanted to talk among other things on that last text you sent me... theres a few things i wanna ask... say... etc..i dont wanna make assumptions.. and if there is still somethings you wanna ask me too then give me a call. preferably tomorrow after 12 before 5... or perhaps this weekend , i work but im off by 6 pm.... ive been busy with school and work and life in general soo my schedule is crazy... if you dont wanna talk anymore then ok... we'll leave things as is...
    Take care. Liz
• 

  March 3

  Jerry

  • Liz I would love to talk to you. It really made me sad when you didn't want to talk to me anymore. I felt like a lot has changed and we are meant to be talking. Your a good person. I miss you. Ill try and call you tomorrow between 12 and 5. Life is def crazy right now.
    The only thing that bothers me if we talk is that I promised your sister that I would not try to contact you. Is there anyway, to be fair, that we can get permission from your sister. I might be an Asshole but I have changed whether anyone believes it. Let me know. Ill try to call you tomorrow. Bed time now. Just barely finished doing work for the day. Ugghhh.
    
     So we met soon after at Denny's. We talked for a few hours... small talk and serious. I remember not telling anyone I was going to go see him... talk to him. I knew what people would say " Are you NUTS! After what he did?!" ... and I was right. Charlie was angry and I'm pretty sure Yan thought I was crazy when I told her about it... but I felt Great. I felt good because I told him what he did... to hurt me, to loose my friendship... I told him WHY I was mad. I had never told anyone my negative feelings towards them. I had never told anyone "IM ANGRY AT YOU BECAUSE ____________" "You hurt me because_________" ....It felt cathartic.
    ... afterwards I no longer thought I was making assumptions... I KNEW for certain that everything he said not only sounded like lies but WERE lies- how? Well thats the main reason I wanted to speak face to face- he said it himself- it was written on his face... and all though I said I'd try to rebuild our friendship, after that talk, I knew that was impossible. Perhaps If he had admitted the TRUTH to me, perhaps then I would of been able to TRY ... everything he said was an excuse... pretty words... they meant nothing anymore.
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• 

  May 31

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • I would of responded earlier but Ive been busy...
    Sorry Jerry. I thought about it and I cant be your friend... for quite a few reasons. I actually wrote them down but i feel its pointless to tell you. I dont think you care. i Cant help what i think now... things happen. People change. My opinion of you has changed and I hear trust can be regained but Im just too dam busy with a number of things to give it a go at being friends with you again.... Simple fact: I trusted you, now I dont. im too busy trying to fix myself to worry about you. And i have worried about you. and not only you everyone involved. .... but now im ready to worry about me. Im content with the fact that I did everything in MY power to be a good friend to all three of you and Ive come to the terms that I cant control other peoples actions, reactions, or beliefs.
    I wish you the happiness Ive come to find because of this bittersweet chapter in my life. Im learning alot about myself and working on my issues.
    Take care.
• 

  May 31

  Jerry W

  • Good for you. I might have somehow made a facial expression when lying. Sorry to break your trust with that. I care about you.. take care. Good luck to you. Thugs are going great for me. Haven't had a drink in over a month now. Before that barely any. Got a job. Have a car. Hope just as much good is coming your way
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • Why is it that every word you say sounds wrong... unbelievable, and makes me have a renewed feeling of anger towards you after hearing them?... You're sorry that you broke my trust with that lying expression??! ... i guess i should be somewhat happy for you that you're finally admitting you lied and are taking responsibility for your facial expressions... You care about me??? Then why would you ever even IMPLY such a thing?! I guess i dont blame her for not believing me, i blame you. i blame you that i lost a friend. I learn from my mistakes. I wasnt about to jeopardize my friendship with Amanda. And i know i will never truly know what THE truth is. I told you before its interesting how 2 people can have different sides to a story, you and amanda's story differed slightly over who's idea it was to go out. Truth is you both wanted to, just like you and me, doesnt matter that you pursued me rather relentlessly (i think) and that i was on the rebound from a 4 year relationship and that some asshole neighbor of mine violated me not too long ago, all that doesn't matter. We're all adults here, we made a choice. Found out, it wasn't a good one... one try for me two for you.... maybe more, i don't know... doesn't matter... i thought you cared about me... even a little but know im not sure you EVER did... i can say i truly did when we were "together"... i gave you a second chance because you only burned me once... it didn't work out but we had good times, i thought... I'd be rather stupid if i gave you a third chance now... there's no such thing as third chances... People you care about, you usually would trust and want whats best for them... wouldn't imply things about them... I never lied or implied... you even thought i lied back then, now im thinking it's probably because you lied...and in this situation you thought i lied again...you said i kept something from you...which is true, the fact that he showed interest in me as more then just a friend... but i never lied...you didnt NEED to know that... now Im really glad i didnt tell you, who knows what you would have done with that peice of info... so dont tell me you care about me ...or amanda or charlie for that matter... who implies to a friend that they think that their other friend slept with the father of their child? who (and you told me this too) tells a friend that you 'think' that same father wants to get back together with them, without even knowing that for a fact and now that i think of it i cant help but think that hearing that was probably for my "benefit", and who brings a friend right smack in the middle of drama between their ex and a mutual friend? ... anyways this is stupid this is all in the past... i guess maybe i should of sent that list... there's still a few reasons why its impossible for you and me to be friends... you blamed amanda for me not talking to you... that was silly...you only had you to blame for me not talking to you... and you only have you to blame for me not being your friend now... sigh* ok , sorry about that... moving on.
    Glad things are going well for you... I really do hope more good things come to you and i said this before (not to you) and i can say it again now, to you, and i can probably say it because i got some more things off my chest, again sorry about that, theres no point in telling a person what you think they did wrong... they either know or dont...i admitted to what i thought i did wrong.. but i guess as people , we just want others to admit what we cant help but believe...sigh* anyways, im not angry at you anymore, i feel bad for you...i hope someday you'll find a girl that you will trust.... completely. Looks like you have trust issues too. . . And here's 2 more cents... dont forget everyone has a past , something they arent proud of, so do you, and the person you fall in love with and completely trust , wont care about that past...hopefully you wont care about hers either...
    Take Care and Goodluck.
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • typo* story differed about who's idea it was to ask "permission" i meant. lol.... that sounds sooo silly now... like i said we're all adults... we do what we want, its called choices... you would of gone through with what you wanted even if i had objected... you both were friends and had preconceived ideas about the other... im sure we all appreciate learning things on our own and not just taking another persons word for it...

Thoughts I've had: The one about Letting Go...No more second chances.

I wrote this after I talked to Jerry. He caused me so much heartache... I'm not sorry I gave him another chance at being my friend... I'm just sorry he used my friendship to get into my ex-friends pants... It was deja vu, I just didn't realize it... I wasn't asking the right question... once that hit me.... i knew.

"...i have tried, i took a step, but realized it was impossible to continue any more and though i felt bad for saying it, i let them know and moved on ...im a sound believer of second chances and for me Ive been known to give more... more then some people I know would... even though im 100 percent sure there's no such thing as 3rd 4th or 5th chances, I'd like to think that some people just need a few extra chances... especially on the little things... the things one can move past... for those who believe in" three strikes youre out" "One time was enough" and all the other sayings, well thats your perrogative, and of course for me I definitely think that way on certain moral aspects and personall beliefs... after all we are and think what we think because of those beliefs and experiences...

...but like i said i beleive some people just need a little more help because I think that some things are just that hard for people to do... change is hard for anyone I'd imagine.... so for a person who ONLY knows a certain way, how to be a crertain way, how to treat a certain way... i would imagine they need a little help... especially if you say you care and feel some sort of love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -for that person... and because of that you WANT to give them a few more tries ... buuuut and this is a big but... how  many tiimes can THEY make the same mistake before WE say enough is enough, im tired, im done, your on your own, i dont beleive you anymore...????...

And for me ... Ive always grasped on to the good... the great... the funny... Ive grasped on to those memories ... but again after awhile you realize theyre not changing, and even though they say they want to or they are or they have changed... well actions speak louder then words ... and at one point the good memories can no longer overcome the bad... and you realize THIS is the best for you and even perhaps them... because maybe... just Maaaybe they will finally realize what they are doing wrong because you arent looking back anymore ...

...and wont ever again and they lost the love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -you once had for them... there's nothing left ...nothing left for them... not even hate... soo I thanked them for the new insight, the new lessons learned and asked them rather politely- cuz thats me- to please PLEASE leave me alone... lose my number, lose my email, lose whatever links you have to contact me, because I was DONE... and I appreciated all the kind words... but to me in the end... thats all they became... JUST words..."