Some of my favorite quotes...

Nothing angers mean spirited people more then being Happy... Sooo forget about their anger and cruelty, it's not your problem (you got your own problems, lol)... be Happy ... <3 -Me

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.
-Loretta Young

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
-Tom Robbins

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
-A. A. Milne  

"By the time we make ends meat, someone moves the ends"...
...the one you love will think the sun shines out your ass... (Juno)

... We've gone too far... (Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle)

I can't tolerate intolerance!
I'm not open to close minded people (stolen from Christian Locatell)

 You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget.  ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
-Plato 

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.  ~Author Unknown

 You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well.  ~Author Unknown

Come live in my heart and pay no rent.  ~Samuel Lover
Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.  ~Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.  ~Michel de Montaigne

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.  ~Javan

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.  ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.-
Buddha

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
-Joseph Roux

Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.
-James Fallows

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
-Buddha

SAD. . .

Feeling rather drained. Feeling rather talked out. Feeling like taking a break from words to just FEEL and REFLECT because I'm Feeling....

 Wish I could just fall asleep... When I'm asleep I don't feel ANYTHING.

The one about School stuff and an old friend...

Hola! I've Been at school for most of the day and I find myself with no time to blog but I'm determined to do it anyway!

Soooo, I recently made up my CPR practice exam, YAY!!! Know I CAN get certified! As you know my teacher said there were no make-ups allowed but for some reason she decided to let me and another student do it. I wish I had decided to look somewhat decent that day though, because another student from the class decided to take pictures of me and my classmate taking our practice exam on Annie (the CPR dolly) for the school paper. I think I looked gruesome and Im hoping the pictures are in black and white because I just basically rolled out of bed and got to class. Today we practiced splinting and paid for our CPR certification. Around this time next month I will be CPR and First Aid certified! (If I pass the final exam) Which means I'll have an extra advantage to add to my resume. . . but i stiiiill need to get my shot to work with kids. Ouch!!! Charlie's Mom offered to pay for it. She's so sweet. :)

I also recently received my school money! YAY!! . . and all ready its dwindling fast. Noooo!! I still need to pay for that darn car ticket and go get a new drivers license from the DMV. From what I hear we're suppose to get another disburstment from the school soon though. :D

I am also rather excited about tonight. An old friend contacted me on Facebook and said she wanted to get together with me and Charlie and have a couple of beers. She lives in Virginia now and is here visiting her Mom for the week. I was rather surprised. I hardly ever hear from anyone except Ericka to hang out with. Lol. I decided to invite Autumn, Farmer, Ericka, and Yan along too.  And I told Charlie to let his roomies know about it as well, since theyre friends of hers too. They all worked at Mervyns together. (If Stephens was still talking to me I would of invited him too!) I know Charlie's friends have "squeezed" him outta of their group and the not so nice part of me doesnt really mind if they come or not but I'm thinking about my friend.

Thinking about it I'm excited and rather nervous. I've explained some of my social fears. A part of me wishes now that I would have left it with Ericka, Charlie, me and her but oooh well. This should give me some "social practice". We started reading in class about how we "learn" how to hold conversations and keep on topic and attend to our friends end of the conversation while we are young. As future teachers we help them "learn" how to socialize. I can tell you right know I flunked socializing 101. LOL.

Anyways That all the time I have for now!

The Friendship Blog

Found this blog online that I'm finding very interesting. http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/

Some of the problems these other people are having remind me of mine and some of the advice on here seems very useful. The creator does have a PhD. Lol.

I would elaborate but Im pressed for time. I got soo much to do. Im bummed I havent had much time to blog.

Wah! wah! Ttyl!
Hope you like her blog. I've joined the forum! Anonymously though. lol.

Thoughts Ive had- The one about me being TOO Forgiving.

Unfinished thoughts...

Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 10:05am

"Im slow to anger and eager to forgive."

Ive been thinking... I know crazy huh... about the people who have done things that aren't necessarily good... and Ive managed to forgive and forget... not that something doesn't change because of it...
but thinking about it and talking to a friend about it i had to ask : " am i too forgiving?'...
I didn't think i was, at least with issues and morals I'm adamant about... but thinking about it... i think with people i hardly know i think im not... i can think of a time 2 people i know basically did the same thing and in one case I made excuses for them and was willing to forgive and forget and in the other i was livid, unwilling to hear or try to understand why... the difference you ask... well one was a friend i've known for a long time the other an acquantance i was begining to get to know... perhaps i never really knew them... im beginning to think its like that with alot of people...

i think everyone's like that... I think perhaps  i might be a little too forgiving with the people I've come to know and Im all to willing to make excuses for them instead of thinking perhaps they're not who i thought they were... they're not the people i want them to be...or perhaps i don't want to see it, confront it... when i hear excuses im all too willing to believe them with out question... Are we all eager to understand and forgive our friends for the things that they do or say ... or is that just me???  Or perhaps they never we're our friends to begin with...

hmmm... Perhaps to some, or most I am too forgiving but to me I had always thought why sweat something that small?... that meaningless... its stupid... it doesnt matter... i am willing to move past it... and i think, as i mentioned before  its because of the good/bad ratio... is it worth a fight??? is it worth the possible hurt feelings? is it worth the anxiety?? is it worth loosing someone I care/appreciate/love/etc.etc???.... at least, Thats how it felt like and knowing what i know know and still learning a few new things on the subject, i find myself feeling rather silly and dumb founded by my inability to see it ... its like staring at a puzzle or a question, taking hours, days or perhaps years to finish or answer and when you finally do , you cant beleive how you could have missed it!!!... the answer was that simple , that clear... and you feel ridiculous for taking sooo damn long on finishing the puzzle or finding the answer to that question...  ... but something I learned in one of my classes, and im paraphrasing... -one cant move beyond conflict if its never resolved-... soo the little things DO matter... its what leads to the big things...

...so dont fear conflict, dont fear talking about the little things and if it does lead to a fight or hurt feelings or whatever! well at least you can say youve dealt with it , and have the opportunity to move on... and if something so small in your eyes could never break the love, trust, respect, etc etc you have for that individual then you must beleive that they feel the same way... and wouldnt want to loose you either and value the friendship just as much...  and if they dont... all though heartbreaking as it might feel at the time... you will eventually feel better... because well the word and meaning of friendship means what it means for a reason...  hmmm trust that they feel the same ...hmmm... easier said then done... and seeing as the small stuff brings anxiety and fear of course the BIG stuff that happened took a toll on me, emotionally and physically...  and Ive gained some insight on why.... buuuut thats a whole other story....
ok enough typing... aparently ive been typing for the past three hours... :P

Sponge Bob!

GOODNIGHT!

Facebook Correspondence... The one about saying Goodbye.

• • Ive been thinking about what you and what you said to me last....
    You said you wanted to talk among other things on that last text you sent me... theres a few things i wanna ask... say... etc..i dont wanna make assumptions.. and if there is still somethings you wanna ask me too then give me a call. preferably tomorrow after 12 before 5... or perhaps this weekend , i work but im off by 6 pm.... ive been busy with school and work and life in general soo my schedule is crazy... if you dont wanna talk anymore then ok... we'll leave things as is...
    Take care. Liz
• 

  March 3

  Jerry

  • Liz I would love to talk to you. It really made me sad when you didn't want to talk to me anymore. I felt like a lot has changed and we are meant to be talking. Your a good person. I miss you. Ill try and call you tomorrow between 12 and 5. Life is def crazy right now.
    The only thing that bothers me if we talk is that I promised your sister that I would not try to contact you. Is there anyway, to be fair, that we can get permission from your sister. I might be an Asshole but I have changed whether anyone believes it. Let me know. Ill try to call you tomorrow. Bed time now. Just barely finished doing work for the day. Ugghhh.
    
     So we met soon after at Denny's. We talked for a few hours... small talk and serious. I remember not telling anyone I was going to go see him... talk to him. I knew what people would say " Are you NUTS! After what he did?!" ... and I was right. Charlie was angry and I'm pretty sure Yan thought I was crazy when I told her about it... but I felt Great. I felt good because I told him what he did... to hurt me, to loose my friendship... I told him WHY I was mad. I had never told anyone my negative feelings towards them. I had never told anyone "IM ANGRY AT YOU BECAUSE ____________" "You hurt me because_________" ....It felt cathartic.
    ... afterwards I no longer thought I was making assumptions... I KNEW for certain that everything he said not only sounded like lies but WERE lies- how? Well thats the main reason I wanted to speak face to face- he said it himself- it was written on his face... and all though I said I'd try to rebuild our friendship, after that talk, I knew that was impossible. Perhaps If he had admitted the TRUTH to me, perhaps then I would of been able to TRY ... everything he said was an excuse... pretty words... they meant nothing anymore.
• 
  
• 

  May 31

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • I would of responded earlier but Ive been busy...
    Sorry Jerry. I thought about it and I cant be your friend... for quite a few reasons. I actually wrote them down but i feel its pointless to tell you. I dont think you care. i Cant help what i think now... things happen. People change. My opinion of you has changed and I hear trust can be regained but Im just too dam busy with a number of things to give it a go at being friends with you again.... Simple fact: I trusted you, now I dont. im too busy trying to fix myself to worry about you. And i have worried about you. and not only you everyone involved. .... but now im ready to worry about me. Im content with the fact that I did everything in MY power to be a good friend to all three of you and Ive come to the terms that I cant control other peoples actions, reactions, or beliefs.
    I wish you the happiness Ive come to find because of this bittersweet chapter in my life. Im learning alot about myself and working on my issues.
    Take care.
• 

  May 31

  Jerry W

  • Good for you. I might have somehow made a facial expression when lying. Sorry to break your trust with that. I care about you.. take care. Good luck to you. Thugs are going great for me. Haven't had a drink in over a month now. Before that barely any. Got a job. Have a car. Hope just as much good is coming your way
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • Why is it that every word you say sounds wrong... unbelievable, and makes me have a renewed feeling of anger towards you after hearing them?... You're sorry that you broke my trust with that lying expression??! ... i guess i should be somewhat happy for you that you're finally admitting you lied and are taking responsibility for your facial expressions... You care about me??? Then why would you ever even IMPLY such a thing?! I guess i dont blame her for not believing me, i blame you. i blame you that i lost a friend. I learn from my mistakes. I wasnt about to jeopardize my friendship with Amanda. And i know i will never truly know what THE truth is. I told you before its interesting how 2 people can have different sides to a story, you and amanda's story differed slightly over who's idea it was to go out. Truth is you both wanted to, just like you and me, doesnt matter that you pursued me rather relentlessly (i think) and that i was on the rebound from a 4 year relationship and that some asshole neighbor of mine violated me not too long ago, all that doesn't matter. We're all adults here, we made a choice. Found out, it wasn't a good one... one try for me two for you.... maybe more, i don't know... doesn't matter... i thought you cared about me... even a little but know im not sure you EVER did... i can say i truly did when we were "together"... i gave you a second chance because you only burned me once... it didn't work out but we had good times, i thought... I'd be rather stupid if i gave you a third chance now... there's no such thing as third chances... People you care about, you usually would trust and want whats best for them... wouldn't imply things about them... I never lied or implied... you even thought i lied back then, now im thinking it's probably because you lied...and in this situation you thought i lied again...you said i kept something from you...which is true, the fact that he showed interest in me as more then just a friend... but i never lied...you didnt NEED to know that... now Im really glad i didnt tell you, who knows what you would have done with that peice of info... so dont tell me you care about me ...or amanda or charlie for that matter... who implies to a friend that they think that their other friend slept with the father of their child? who (and you told me this too) tells a friend that you 'think' that same father wants to get back together with them, without even knowing that for a fact and now that i think of it i cant help but think that hearing that was probably for my "benefit", and who brings a friend right smack in the middle of drama between their ex and a mutual friend? ... anyways this is stupid this is all in the past... i guess maybe i should of sent that list... there's still a few reasons why its impossible for you and me to be friends... you blamed amanda for me not talking to you... that was silly...you only had you to blame for me not talking to you... and you only have you to blame for me not being your friend now... sigh* ok , sorry about that... moving on.
    Glad things are going well for you... I really do hope more good things come to you and i said this before (not to you) and i can say it again now, to you, and i can probably say it because i got some more things off my chest, again sorry about that, theres no point in telling a person what you think they did wrong... they either know or dont...i admitted to what i thought i did wrong.. but i guess as people , we just want others to admit what we cant help but believe...sigh* anyways, im not angry at you anymore, i feel bad for you...i hope someday you'll find a girl that you will trust.... completely. Looks like you have trust issues too. . . And here's 2 more cents... dont forget everyone has a past , something they arent proud of, so do you, and the person you fall in love with and completely trust , wont care about that past...hopefully you wont care about hers either...
    Take Care and Goodluck.
• 

  June 2

  Lizbeth Sanchez

  • typo* story differed about who's idea it was to ask "permission" i meant. lol.... that sounds sooo silly now... like i said we're all adults... we do what we want, its called choices... you would of gone through with what you wanted even if i had objected... you both were friends and had preconceived ideas about the other... im sure we all appreciate learning things on our own and not just taking another persons word for it...

Thoughts I've had: The one about Letting Go...No more second chances.

I wrote this after I talked to Jerry. He caused me so much heartache... I'm not sorry I gave him another chance at being my friend... I'm just sorry he used my friendship to get into my ex-friends pants... It was deja vu, I just didn't realize it... I wasn't asking the right question... once that hit me.... i knew.

"...i have tried, i took a step, but realized it was impossible to continue any more and though i felt bad for saying it, i let them know and moved on ...im a sound believer of second chances and for me Ive been known to give more... more then some people I know would... even though im 100 percent sure there's no such thing as 3rd 4th or 5th chances, I'd like to think that some people just need a few extra chances... especially on the little things... the things one can move past... for those who believe in" three strikes youre out" "One time was enough" and all the other sayings, well thats your perrogative, and of course for me I definitely think that way on certain moral aspects and personall beliefs... after all we are and think what we think because of those beliefs and experiences...

...but like i said i beleive some people just need a little more help because I think that some things are just that hard for people to do... change is hard for anyone I'd imagine.... so for a person who ONLY knows a certain way, how to be a crertain way, how to treat a certain way... i would imagine they need a little help... especially if you say you care and feel some sort of love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -for that person... and because of that you WANT to give them a few more tries ... buuuut and this is a big but... how  many tiimes can THEY make the same mistake before WE say enough is enough, im tired, im done, your on your own, i dont beleive you anymore...????...

And for me ... Ive always grasped on to the good... the great... the funny... Ive grasped on to those memories ... but again after awhile you realize theyre not changing, and even though they say they want to or they are or they have changed... well actions speak louder then words ... and at one point the good memories can no longer overcome the bad... and you realize THIS is the best for you and even perhaps them... because maybe... just Maaaybe they will finally realize what they are doing wrong because you arent looking back anymore ...

...and wont ever again and they lost the love, compassion, pity, hope, friendship, etc, etc -you once had for them... there's nothing left ...nothing left for them... not even hate... soo I thanked them for the new insight, the new lessons learned and asked them rather politely- cuz thats me- to please PLEASE leave me alone... lose my number, lose my email, lose whatever links you have to contact me, because I was DONE... and I appreciated all the kind words... but to me in the end... thats all they became... JUST words..."

The Frienship Blues

My last entree got me a wee bit emotional... Reminiscing about the past just brings back happy memories (things turned out ok) but also sad memories of today. I was reminded of Chris S. Remembering times he's been there for me. Like when Marley got hurt he was one of the few that helped out with her...

Poor thing had to be carried everywhere until she regained the use of her legs. I had to medicate her and keep a close eye on her for the next week or so. It took her about three days maybe four to start walking again. :) Everyone was surprised. The Vet said I had to prepare myself for the fact that she may never walk again. I looked into doggie wheel chairs that very same day. I guess Marley had other plans for her skinny legs. :)

This goes for four legged creatures too:

hmmmm... anywhoo... Last entree just reminded me of him... which caused a whole chain reaction.. which caused a simple conclusion to my all ready blues day...

I miss him. I miss hanging out with him, talking to him.... I miss HIM. He wasn't a perfect friend, but then again who is? Im definitely not... We're all human and humans are known to make mistakes and act all human like sometimes... but he was a good friend to me and he was always there when it REALLY mattered... I only wish I was a better friend to him... I'm not exactly sure why he stopped talking to me... I can only make assumptions, and you know how I hate to make assumptions!

 ... yet that's all I'm left with... again. I think the last time I spoke to him was early January of this year. He called me and I forgot to call him back. I was more then a little distracted that month... everything that was going on in the mini soap opera was getting to me and I couldn't focus on anything or anyone else. I was too busy trying to save friendships/relationships...
I very much regret that know... We all know how that turned out... I didn't know it then but I was trying to save something that was allready dead.... I just didn't know it yet... or perhaps it never really was alive to begin with...
...instead I should have been focusing on the people who wanted to talk to me and have me in their lives...

I tried calling him ... texting him ... emailing him... no response. He deleted me from Facebook... and he blocked me. I remember telling Ericka "I hate the fact that we live in a world where we can physically delete an entire friendship with just the click of a mouse!" Its that easy folks! Years worth of good times and even bad times spent together , GONE. Like we never existed. I apologized and tried to explain to him (in email, since he wouldn't return my calls) what was going on... albeit in a weird analogy ( which now that I think of was not a good idea) but I TRIED. Nothing.

 It wasn't until my talk with Charlie about Chris, did I realize how torn and sad I was inside about loosing his friendship...

I remember I had left my purse in Charlies car the last time we talked (I had to tell him the shinanigans Jerry started) and he was just going to bring it back to me put we ended up catching lunch at The Golden Dragon. I remember feeling rather chatty ( Charlie pointed that out too- As you know I am a rather quiet, shy gal) and feeling rather comfortable talking with him... i believe he asked about Chris n such because we had talked about it briefly before... so I told him a few things only Ericka at the time knew. . . and things about my friendship with Chris in general...

You see I've always had this image in my head about growing old (god-willing) and I told Charlie about it... I told him "Out of all the friends in my life, HE was one of the few I pictured, with me at the old folks home... racing our wheel chairs down the ramp." That thought would always make me laugh... this time it had an adverse affect. I could feel my throat closing... choking... I tried to hold it back. I absolutely HATE crying... It's bad enough when I cry when alone, but here I was in the middle of the day, in the middle of a restaurant, in the middle of someone I hardly knew... Starting to Cry. I remember I apologized for crying and told him I wasn't sure where that came from... Deep down I knew...

 

I'm not sure why I didn't confide in him... in anyone really. I guess I figured I could handle it on my own... I didn't want to bother them... I didn't think they'd understand... I was afraid they'd judge me... For whatever the reason... I know now he wouldn't have been bothered, or judgemental... he's always helped and been there for me in the past... why not now??? ... He's never let me go throw bad times alone.
Who was there for me when I got a letter saying I couldn't attend Fullerton because of a stupid postcard??? Who went with me to Fullerton to petition the Dean of students??? Not my boyfriend (at the time) not my mother... Chris WAS. Who went with me to visit Marley while at the vet? Who'd I spent the weekend with in San Bernardino (kitty too-lol) ??? Who'd I spent countless of work hours with?? Countless of fast food runs and conversations with??? Who would invite me over and wanna just hang out with boring little ol' MEEE??? One on one, Lizzie and Stephens time! It's easier to write this know... I teared up last night thinking about all this and more... 

It is very true- How CAN I forget someone that gave me soo many GOOD memories..
I cant...
I think  I's time to say hello to the sandman...
Sweet dreams.

Dinner with Old Friends

Last night I had dinner with Farmer, Autumn and Ericka. I was a little anxious about seeing Autumn and Farmer. The last time we hung out was the night I told Autumn about my new relationship with Charlie and the end of my friendship with my "friend". I'm glad Ericka could come too, just having her there made me a lot less anxious. I didn't have an attack. Yay! The last time I was with just Autumn and Farmer, I did. I got it under control though, so they didn't notice. Most people don't notice when I'm starting to have one... probably because I can calm myself down before it's a full fledged attack. It takes my every ounce of energy and focus to do it. It feels like my world stops all together. "I'm having an internal meltdown but the rest of the world keeps going." I remember thinking It's terrifying because It's like my connection to the world is severed somehow. There's nothing keeping me tethered to Earth. I'm there physically but mentally I'm somewhere else fighting to come back.

Anywhoo, sidetracked... It was a pleasant evening. We caught up a little and left it open to doing it again. Autumn mentioned a once a month thing, which reminded me of what I was thinking about after we finished eating. I was thinking just the same thing. Ericka's classmate put it in my head when she was talking about her "Date Night" with the bestie. I was thinking of having something like that with the "Old Gang". I know we've all drifted apart and we may never be as close as we once were but my hope would be for that to change. To actually get even better then before. Maybe I'll get better at being less guarded and pessimistic and actually let them in my world... and hopefully they will let me in theirs too. We'll see...

hmmm... maybe I should adjust the sails... lol... Sweet Dreams!

Gossip : Her Truth, His Truth and THEE TRUTH!...

... I don't wish to hurt or point fingers.. I just want my story told... MY side to have a voice. It seems lately (in the beginning as well) that everyone just hears ONE side and automatically assumes its the ENTIRE truth.
Yeah, go ahead and assume. After all what do I care what people I don't even know, or ever met, think about me, those I do know are another story...

Oh... wait... People I DO KNOW are hearing things... bad things about me. Deep down, I think I expected it to happen, but never imagined it would... because I still had that last shred of hope that perhaps I was being paranoid... Like I feel now... That I wasn't in high school and I was being silly. Needless to say my gut feelings were right back then... Lets see how they are now... Perhaps I'm wrong this time...

I would like to say I did seek counsel among mutual friends, in the hopes for advice on what to do, how to proceed... after the initial "TALK" I was freaking lost!.. and seeing as they knew the both of us, what could it hurt! Like I said before I value my friends ALOT , what they say I take to heart. They're opinion means alot.. better then family even (sad but true) because they feel...felt like my family... I had given up on my families opinion of me awhile ago... (on a side note- this changed my outlook on family as well- there wasn't one aspect of my life not involved in this somehow towards the middle or the end of all this!)
So I asked for advice. I felt deep down even though she said we we're fine, we actually weren't... a month had gone by and I wanted to see how she was but my calls, emails, and texts remained unanswered... and when I started reading FB gossip among our mutual friends I REALLY started to feel things were anything but "OK"... I remember asking Farmer about it online. He said it was a good idea to try to touch base again.

...After all gossip is just that, and I wanted more then just rumors ... I wanted the facts... anyhow-side tracked... but I never told anyone my story out of malicious thoughts towards her or in hopes of taking away any friends we shared, or even share now and I said as much to them. ... Even though I could have... to some I had every right to be just as mad at HER, for doing what SHE did... I however perhaps am too forgiving or empathetic... Our stories where the same but different... I had thought about getting to know a man she once loved, further, and she wanted to get to know a man I once had feelings for, further-which she did- (very complicating when feelings start to get involved- and everyone had feelings going every which way- lol)... I thought at one point I could fall in love with Jerry, but the difference was, I DIDN"T fall in love with him... and there was no proof of that possible love ... That and I never had Jerry's baby either... Yeah. ahem* Que in Days of our Lives music!! DU DU DUM!!!  They had proof... Breathing, living, proof of that love... Proof too binding (to me). Just another reason why it was a bad idea, too. One thing I learned about people when working with kids and money: People can get craaazy with their kids and money... Sooo tread safely. 

Sorry, Side tracked AGAIN...back to mutual friends and acquaintances...
In fact she's the one who deleted them, with not even as much as a goodbye. . . I dont know why, I can only assume- perhaps she thought they were closer to me, perhaps she thought they'd judge her?? ...Like I said , no clue why... she even re-friended one of them after she un-friended... even more baffling to me...

Anywhoo, I'm hoping I'm being paranoid again now, because a mutual friend we share ... shared... is no longer on my friends list... LOL sounds silly huh... I'm thinking perhaps she closed it down for the same reason she did last time... and I tell myself, like I did back then when these paranoid feelings came to mind " dont assume, Liz... find out from the source" ...

Which is Why I write: If you want to know my story here it is. Or simply ask me. Don't presume to think you know me and what happened... especially if you only hear one side of the tale. You have no idea what I've been through. I don't judge you so please don't judge me. This I say to my friends, family acquaintances and anyone else who gives a shiit... lol sorry this just brings back feeling of what I felt when I heard people talking about me. So-called friends who didn't so much as even bother to ask me what happened. Needless to say I deleted them. I don't need nor want "friends" like that.

Thanks.
oookay, now i reaally gotta get to bed... clip art later. SIGH*