Angry...

I know anger is a secondary emotion and not one I like sharing about all that much... but here I am. THinking. . .Thinking about why I've been so angry....cranky, irritable and perhaps a little mean lately. Sadly since Charlie's the only one I'm around mainly he's been taking some of that anger. Lately things he says or does just set me off in a bad mood. . . most of the time it's stupid little things I shouldn't really be upset by but there it is... Perhaps some of it is aimed at him for certain things right now- and we briefly talked about it during our last trip to Lucky Baldwins, which for some odd reason we ended up sleeping in his car the entire night, brrrr!- but I'm sure it's not all on those issues.

I need to wake up early (only two weeks left til this semester is over!) :( so I'll summarize once more and hopefully elaborate on these issues later:

1. I want to leave this house.

2. I miss my friends.

3. I want me and Charlie to have mutual friends but the way Charlie's acting it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen. - hopefully Ericka doesn't mind being the only friend that hangs out with us. lol. Sad day.

4. Charlie told me again what Maria said about me and then added what she and his ex girlfriend would do together to "bond" (drink, hang out and of course bad mouth another mutual friend- who I happen to know)- which just renews my dislike of the female species and my intense anxiety on trying to make new female friends-

5. Stressed about finals and school in general, looks like I might not be able to take any winter classes Tomorrow is finally my turn to register for the next semester but All the classes are pretty much full.

6. The future. mine. charlies. mine and charlies.

7. Something a lil more personal so I think I'll share that in my old fashioned hand written journal Charlie bought me. ( he commented on how I haven't written in it lately) I still have yet to tell anyone about this online journal. . .( all though I have a sneaking suspicion nosey-mc-nosington does know about it) hmmmm....
I gotta go ... The natives are  here.... and getting restless....
Sweet Dreams...

The one about Liz staying up all night...

These last couple of days have been hectic and time consuming. I've been working on my final projects for all my classes... It's too late to get in a decent a rest or even nap so here I am fighting to stay awake until class starts. Its almost 6am and class starts at 8 am. Hopefully I'll get in some sleep after class, I go into work at 6 pm. Wah! Wah! I think I'll jump in the shower, have some breakfast (something I rarely do), and get my science project stuff ready for class.... but first, since I have some time to spare :) I will summarize the current shinanigans and thoughts.
 Numero uno: I told Charlie I want to move out! Now!
Numero Dos: Maria (Charlie's land lady, and I guess Ex Friend now) gave him until Feb. 1st to move out. - Rather nice of her to wait til AFTER the holidays. Oh and she rescinded her invitation to me AGAIN, so once again I am not even allowed on her property.- and unless I ask her directly (and even then I'm doubtful I'll get an honest answer) I will never know exactly why she does not like me. I met her at JB's birthday party alooong time ago, I went with both Chris's and Autumn. (Charlie wasn't there, I don't think he lived with them yet. I had no idea she even knew Charlie- This is definitely a small world!)
Numero Tres: Im debating between taking winter session classes or just working... until Spring semester that is.
Numero Quatro: Charlie's baby mama drama continues. Poor Charlie, he hasn't seen his kid in awhile. . . and to top it all off after ignoring all his messages about seeing his son she recently messages him, just to yell at him and call him names... You tell me what you call a person who keeps their children from another parent???... anywhooo...
Numero Cinco: Been thinking about what Ericka said, which reminds me I almost cried in front of her while I was "sharing". Her and Charlie actually. This whole talking about stuff that makes me mad or sad always brings tears to my eyes, I had to change the subject otherwise I would of lost it..

hmmm.... anywhoo... I must go, TTYL!

Need to focus...

This week is gonna be agony. I have a 40 hour work week! I havent had one of  those since last Christmas! PLUS I have school. THe end is nearing!!! I gotta get better at this time management thing... Ugh! The end of this year is going by too fast... and my birthday is fast approaching. I feel soo OLD!~
Anyways, Im gonna cut this short because I must get some sleep! I have a quiz tomorrow that I still need to study for!

Things I've been thinking about:
My relationship with CHarlie and whats in store for our future.
What I need to do to finish my GE classes and get my AA in child Development.
Getting a new job!
Certain people in my life.
People in general.
.... and a million other things!

Goodnight!

Alot on my mind...

 The past few days have been taxing. Not much sleep too much sleep... its 3:22 am right now. As you can tell from my last blog a lot of sssh-tuff happened. Which caused a multitude of chain reactions in my thoughts. Does that make sense? I'll elaborate.
Have you ever had a thought that just continued to elicit even more thoughts??? We'll I had quite a few thoughts put in my head which caused my brain to have thought diarrhea. I multitude of bad and good thoughts... mostly bad. I needed a few days to sort them out, or at least try to. I came out with only one conclusion but there is still much to do.

I'm Ok now. Not great. But ok enough to continue this chapter in my life. I am cutting this short because I need sleep. I missed yesterdays class and last Thursdays class. I really cant afford to loose another day. I hope with the extra credit and perhaps my resolve to spend more time at school and focus on homework I can get high B's... because as of now even low A's seem outta the picture. SIGH*


Sweet Dreams...

SAD. . .

Feeling rather drained. Feeling rather talked out. Feeling like taking a break from words to just FEEL and REFLECT because I'm Feeling....

 Wish I could just fall asleep... When I'm asleep I don't feel ANYTHING.

The one about School stuff and an old friend...

Hola! I've Been at school for most of the day and I find myself with no time to blog but I'm determined to do it anyway!

Soooo, I recently made up my CPR practice exam, YAY!!! Know I CAN get certified! As you know my teacher said there were no make-ups allowed but for some reason she decided to let me and another student do it. I wish I had decided to look somewhat decent that day though, because another student from the class decided to take pictures of me and my classmate taking our practice exam on Annie (the CPR dolly) for the school paper. I think I looked gruesome and Im hoping the pictures are in black and white because I just basically rolled out of bed and got to class. Today we practiced splinting and paid for our CPR certification. Around this time next month I will be CPR and First Aid certified! (If I pass the final exam) Which means I'll have an extra advantage to add to my resume. . . but i stiiiill need to get my shot to work with kids. Ouch!!! Charlie's Mom offered to pay for it. She's so sweet. :)

I also recently received my school money! YAY!! . . and all ready its dwindling fast. Noooo!! I still need to pay for that darn car ticket and go get a new drivers license from the DMV. From what I hear we're suppose to get another disburstment from the school soon though. :D

I am also rather excited about tonight. An old friend contacted me on Facebook and said she wanted to get together with me and Charlie and have a couple of beers. She lives in Virginia now and is here visiting her Mom for the week. I was rather surprised. I hardly ever hear from anyone except Ericka to hang out with. Lol. I decided to invite Autumn, Farmer, Ericka, and Yan along too.  And I told Charlie to let his roomies know about it as well, since theyre friends of hers too. They all worked at Mervyns together. (If Stephens was still talking to me I would of invited him too!) I know Charlie's friends have "squeezed" him outta of their group and the not so nice part of me doesnt really mind if they come or not but I'm thinking about my friend.

Thinking about it I'm excited and rather nervous. I've explained some of my social fears. A part of me wishes now that I would have left it with Ericka, Charlie, me and her but oooh well. This should give me some "social practice". We started reading in class about how we "learn" how to hold conversations and keep on topic and attend to our friends end of the conversation while we are young. As future teachers we help them "learn" how to socialize. I can tell you right know I flunked socializing 101. LOL.

Anyways That all the time I have for now!

The Friendship Blog

Found this blog online that I'm finding very interesting. http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/

Some of the problems these other people are having remind me of mine and some of the advice on here seems very useful. The creator does have a PhD. Lol.

I would elaborate but Im pressed for time. I got soo much to do. Im bummed I havent had much time to blog.

Wah! wah! Ttyl!
Hope you like her blog. I've joined the forum! Anonymously though. lol.