My Asian Adventure!!!

I went to the Pacific Asia Museum today.  It was a class assignment for my Multi-Culture Anti Bias class. The assignment was to go to a place/event that has nothing to do with my own culture. It was very interesting, saw a lot of artifacts. Surprisingly a lot of the customs we read about as we went through the museum reminded me of my own culture. There was one piece they had that said to hold an ancestor within it, I told Ericka that was "kinda creepy... but then again , no more creepy then having your deceased relatives visiting you in the month of November"... lol. Dia de Los Muertos.
We had the entire museum to ourselves, I guess not many people wanna visit a museum Friday night in Pasadena. I think I had the most fun in their Silk Road room, they had sets of Asian clothing you could try on, and a set with a giant Llama and instruments you could sit in and take pictures in. Lol. I tried on two of the outfits. :) They also had a touch table with different artifacts and magnifying glasses. I also enjoyed reading and writing in their guest book. A lot of people wrote their story or their ancestors story and why they came to the museum.
Afterwards Ericka and me went to our favorite Japanese noodle house, Hakata Ramen Shin Sen Gumi, and had a bowl of Ramen. I chased it down with a small bottle of cold Sake ;D and Ericka had green tea. For the most part it was a fun day. We haven't seen each other in a while so we caught up at dinner. Not everything we talked about brought a smile to my face, but it's nice to know she's there for me.

Anywhoo, I should go to bed. I plan on going to the year of the snake celebration tomorrow before work.
I'll post pics later.

Goodnight JD

So much for my Fairy tale...

Perhaps thats all it was... just a Fairy tale. A fictitious story that had to come to an end .... because all fairy tales have an ending... but is it over? I have so many thoughts running though my head. Im not sure which line of thinking I should follow. Siiiigh.

Trying....

 

These last few months have been difficult and I dont see the future getting any easier but here I am TRYING. I cant say Im not trying. With a little more disipline and faith I hope things keep getting better...

Anemia Blows!

I hate being tired all the time.
Im irratable.
Im moody.
I wish I had more self discipline... maybe then I could get rid of all my health issues.
I have yet to make a doctors appointment and Im overdue for one. I forget to take my iron pills and birth control. i.e the Birth control helps with the anemia, I dont loose so much damn blood! Imagine bleeding 20-25 days outta the month! Bet you'd be irratible too!!!
I should go to bed.... I just finished some homework. It's for my online course. Uuuugh! I need to get myself in check soon, otherwise I dont see me getting a good grade in this class. :(
I start work this Sunday and my free time will be drastically decreased! :(

Goodnight.

Summer Over!!

I start school next week. Introduction to Physical Anthropology. Art for Children. Observing and Recording Behavior. and Computer Keyboarding. Im also trying to add Health, Safety and Nutrition for Young Children. After these I only need two more Child Dev. classes to finish my AA in Chld Dev.


Im incredibly tired right now... im literally fighting to keep my eyes open so i guess i wont be catching up on my blogging....
sigh...

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... ttyl.... hopefully.

Lizzie

Breath Liz... Breath....

I find myself with a little time to write :) Today was my last final and I can honestly say I am rather relieved of having one less thing to worry about at the moment: School. I had started out with 14 units this semesters and ended up with 5. I am partially glad I decided to drop more then half my course work because I definitely was not focused on work this semester and cant imagine how on earth I would of passed any of those harder classes. Even now I am unsure of my grades in the remaining four classes, I might have to retake one or two.

This past couple of months it has felt as though my mind has been constantly preoccupied. When Im at work Im thinking of school and home issues, when Im at school Im worrying about work and home issues.. etc. etc. I think my mind has reached its full capacity in thoughts and has spilled over into my here and now so I have been unable to be in the Here and Now.

I recently talked to my teacher about possibly taking her courses again and the difficulty I've had staying focused in her class. Needless to say when ever I open up a little about my personal problems I began to cry. I wasnt completely surprised. If i think about it lately Ive kept so much in , i was bound to explode sooner or later. (that was only one out pouring of emotion Ive had this week)

I went to see a therapist today. I know Ive been putting it off for over a year now but seeing as I've been incredible emotional lately I figured I should do something about it. Especially since I will be starting the summer program soon. I asked for a leave of absence from work to take care of all these issues, which was not my original plan but one that I felt had to be made.

What I had wanted to do was work at Target in the mornings and the summer program in the afternoons but I was told I couldnt limit my schedule that much. I thought Greeeat something else to worry about. So I went to talk to our HR rep to try to figure something out. Sigh. I started crying  in the middle of our talk. I didnt tell her this but I felt as though I was being put between a rock and a hard place, either I quit so I can do this summer job (which only last 3 months) and loose my only means of support or not be able to show up to some days im scheduled to work and eventually get fired and STILL loose my only means of support.

By the end of the meeting I was told that it was up to me to decide what i wanted to do: They told me that they would work with my schedule and if I decided to ask for the leave that theyd support that too. Siiigh.... If they had just approved my availability in the first place I wouldnt have had this minor break down. . . but I guess I should be glad because I think this is my bodies way of telling me somethings wrong and I need to fix it.

Im not sure if its an emotional problem or medical problem or even a combination of both but hopefully with the help of my therapist and doctor I can figure out whats going on...

It might just take some time...

So Much Catching up to do!!!

Saying I am just a little behind on EVERYTHING is an understatement. There is sooo much to do... and soooo much to worry about. I have asked for a week off from work in the hopes that I can get caught up in all my work.

Lately I've been busy being mad at Charlie... for a number of reasons.
Ultimately I think I have only me to blame. I am not as aggresive with him as I should have been on what needs to be done and as Ive mentioned before his lack of motivation somehow rubs off on me... but I shouldnt blame that on him. If I really pushed myself I would get up and go. . . and I've found that when I find the motivation to get myself in gear, he does too. I just wish he had that on his own.
Im not sure why I am dragging my feet in school... in a way I think that if I dont get things done then they WONT get done... not MY things... OUR things... so my stuff gets pushed to the back burner.

 He talked about resentment recently and perhaps that is why I am being uncharacteristicly "mean".
I resent the fact that he has all this "free" time to get things done yet chooses not to. I resent the fact that not only do I have to go to work and school but I have to play "housewife". I am angry that he lets the government screw him over and in turn screw US over.

There has been alot of anger and angry feelings going around as well as sadness...
and for the most part I think I know where its coming from but.... but... theres just so many uncharted feeling I know are lying deep under my skin that I havent quite uncovered.

Charlie agreed to counceling.... but only If I find one that we can go to. :/ siiiigh... I have enough to do on my plate!... Just another thing to feel resentful about... and to to the therapist about. lol

These last few months have been hard... we've both experienced health issues. We have both paid visits to the emergency room.

 He says my issues are within my control though, unlike his. Pfft! As if I could have forseen the major bloodloss I experienced... yes, I am and have been anemic for quite some time but I (as well as my doctor) are not completely sure why my body has been going haywire. I am on iron pills as well as BC to regulate my bodies hormones and junk but the doc said it would take a few months to see. See what? If pills fix the problem!? If theres another underlining issue!? If the cyst on my right ovary shrinks?! sigh!

Things arent all bad. It good to know that people care. That they want to help. I am very grateful for the people in my life and I may not be the best person at showing it but I can at least say Im trying... Im learning.... I just need to remember to take it one day at a time.

On a good note. I forgot how much better I feel after having a "Dance session" alone in the bathroom. It would always cheer me up after having a bout of the blues. Im glad i had one today. :D Im also noticing that Im getting some color back to my face, I no longer look super pasty.

Plus it's good to know Charlie and me still love and care about one another despite the fact that we are both up to our wits end with each other!