Gossip : Her Truth, His Truth and THEE TRUTH!...

... I don't wish to hurt or point fingers.. I just want my story told... MY side to have a voice. It seems lately (in the beginning as well) that everyone just hears ONE side and automatically assumes its the ENTIRE truth.
Yeah, go ahead and assume. After all what do I care what people I don't even know, or ever met, think about me, those I do know are another story...

Oh... wait... People I DO KNOW are hearing things... bad things about me. Deep down, I think I expected it to happen, but never imagined it would... because I still had that last shred of hope that perhaps I was being paranoid... Like I feel now... That I wasn't in high school and I was being silly. Needless to say my gut feelings were right back then... Lets see how they are now... Perhaps I'm wrong this time...

I would like to say I did seek counsel among mutual friends, in the hopes for advice on what to do, how to proceed... after the initial "TALK" I was freaking lost!.. and seeing as they knew the both of us, what could it hurt! Like I said before I value my friends ALOT , what they say I take to heart. They're opinion means alot.. better then family even (sad but true) because they feel...felt like my family... I had given up on my families opinion of me awhile ago... (on a side note- this changed my outlook on family as well- there wasn't one aspect of my life not involved in this somehow towards the middle or the end of all this!)
So I asked for advice. I felt deep down even though she said we we're fine, we actually weren't... a month had gone by and I wanted to see how she was but my calls, emails, and texts remained unanswered... and when I started reading FB gossip among our mutual friends I REALLY started to feel things were anything but "OK"... I remember asking Farmer about it online. He said it was a good idea to try to touch base again.

...After all gossip is just that, and I wanted more then just rumors ... I wanted the facts... anyhow-side tracked... but I never told anyone my story out of malicious thoughts towards her or in hopes of taking away any friends we shared, or even share now and I said as much to them. ... Even though I could have... to some I had every right to be just as mad at HER, for doing what SHE did... I however perhaps am too forgiving or empathetic... Our stories where the same but different... I had thought about getting to know a man she once loved, further, and she wanted to get to know a man I once had feelings for, further-which she did- (very complicating when feelings start to get involved- and everyone had feelings going every which way- lol)... I thought at one point I could fall in love with Jerry, but the difference was, I DIDN"T fall in love with him... and there was no proof of that possible love ... That and I never had Jerry's baby either... Yeah. ahem* Que in Days of our Lives music!! DU DU DUM!!!  They had proof... Breathing, living, proof of that love... Proof too binding (to me). Just another reason why it was a bad idea, too. One thing I learned about people when working with kids and money: People can get craaazy with their kids and money... Sooo tread safely. 

Sorry, Side tracked AGAIN...back to mutual friends and acquaintances...
In fact she's the one who deleted them, with not even as much as a goodbye. . . I dont know why, I can only assume- perhaps she thought they were closer to me, perhaps she thought they'd judge her?? ...Like I said , no clue why... she even re-friended one of them after she un-friended... even more baffling to me...

Anywhoo, I'm hoping I'm being paranoid again now, because a mutual friend we share ... shared... is no longer on my friends list... LOL sounds silly huh... I'm thinking perhaps she closed it down for the same reason she did last time... and I tell myself, like I did back then when these paranoid feelings came to mind " dont assume, Liz... find out from the source" ...

Which is Why I write: If you want to know my story here it is. Or simply ask me. Don't presume to think you know me and what happened... especially if you only hear one side of the tale. You have no idea what I've been through. I don't judge you so please don't judge me. This I say to my friends, family acquaintances and anyone else who gives a shiit... lol sorry this just brings back feeling of what I felt when I heard people talking about me. So-called friends who didn't so much as even bother to ask me what happened. Needless to say I deleted them. I don't need nor want "friends" like that.

Thanks.
oookay, now i reaally gotta get to bed... clip art later. SIGH*