Whats the Matter!! : MONEY!!!

It's the weekend and I got out of my Music for young children class, not too long ago. . . and since I have time to spare I wanted to write. Write about what? you ask... There's so many thoughts going through my head at the moment.

WORK, which = MONEY
...and I'm definitely not making enough. I have too little hours and no real interest in moving up in the company. I have been thinking about switching to another part of the store and getting out of Backroom. Have I mentioned I work at Target?? Oops. ... Well that's where I work. Most of the time I work by myself, unless you count "the Ghost" that works back there too. It gets eerily quite back there sometimes and at first I rather enjoyed the quiet. No yelling, screaming, nagging, accusing, belittling, etc. etc. noises of the day... just complete and total silence. Unfortunately I didn't realize how loud my own thoughts were.

1. I was getting more and more depressed about life.
2. My friends
3. My family
4. My future

I was thinking about how I was gradually getting more and more melancholy. Mostly because I was missing the things I did when I had transportation. Visiting my friends, going out, getting away from my house... pretty much everything. At the time I was relying on Jordan for escape. He sufficed for what I needed at the time, and Im sure I was the same to him. He wasn't a great guy but he wasn't a bad one either.  I was grateful for the company even though I knew he was a temporary fix of happiness.
How did I lose my car you ask?
  I had lost my car because I couldn't make the payments in time. Sooo Rodolfo took it back- he's my father but I don't really call him that- The definition of that word does not describe him- at least not to me, I'm sure his other children call him Dad, and in every sense of the word it may describes him perfectly... to them...

-anyways that's another story...sooo  I had money issues and It was getting harder and harder for me to make the payments, a lot of the times they were late.. well, not late on the bill but late for me... You see they linked his credit card to the payment account they set up so If I didn't pay in time It came out of the CC... then I would pay his CC account. Sounds complicating?? ...Well, Its true what Ricky Ricardo said "Nunca aga negocio's con parientes ni amigos!" That means never do business with family or friends. Needless to say that caused a little drama but that's also another story as well...

... I wasn't too troubled about loosing the car, I had known it was only a matter of time... a matter of time until I'd be too late in paying and people would get mad. I wasn't sure If he would get mad, seeing as I had little to no knowledge of what he's like, so I wasn't too worried about him. Who I worried about , and their reaction , was of course my mother. She's gonna blow her top! she's gonna scream and yell at you, perhaps even smack you... Not hard enough to really hurt for long, of course... after all she wasn't like those parents and guardians you hear on the news or papers that beat the living daylights out of their kids. She is a part of a good percent of the human population that uses what our society calls "corporal punishment". This form of punishment, was at a time, even condoned at schools. A punishment I hope never to use, if I'm lucky enough to have children one day that is.

 She however rarely uses that type of punishment anymore, we are rather too old for that to be all that menacing.... as a child the fear of getting hit was far worse then the actual hitting. She likes to use her words mostly, now. Piercing, hateful words when she's really angry..Words that very much so contributed to my downward mood and feelings of isolation... It wasn't until this time that I truly realized how incredibly isolated I was... but that too is another story...

Where was I??? I've done it again...lol... off track. What was I talking about??? aaah, yeeees, MONEY and TRANSPORTATION soooo I had been using my brothers car. It worked out nicely, because he needed someone to makes the payments... and I needed a cheap car... and since his car payment was dramatically less then what I was paying a month I took it up in order for him not to lose the car. Perfect! So I had a ride for a little while longer...  but then he got a job and then moved out and he took the car I finished paying for with him... and that my friends is the sad little story on how I lost my car and my rent-a-car.

Oh how I wish I made enough to be able to save up for a car!
I wish I had money period! Everything costs money! Food, clothes, books, cars... the list is endless.

However, I am looking into a volunteer position that might lead to a better paying job. Its an after school program but the only thing I'm missing at the moment is a TB test. The last one I took was over 2 1/2 yrs ago. I definitely need to get on that.
Oooh you are such a PROCRASTINATOR!!!... and You get off topic easily!

GTG. <3